Who Am I?

Regular readers of this blog (lol jkz, no one reads this!) will know that I’ve posted before about the fact that my skillset/interests are very broad and not very deep.  This seems to be something that keeps getting worse as time goes on.  All the time I find new hobbies/interests to pursue (a couple of weeks ago I bought remote control car, and now I want to get into that as a hobby) and it’s getting hard to put effort into every single one of them.

It gets to a point where I basically stop and look at myself and say:

Who am I?

When I look at my interests and my personality I try to define what makes me the person I am; but in reality it’s all just a jumble.  So many different thoughts and interests, incoherently mixed together.  I can’t really pick one or two things that are uniquely me.  It seems like I am just the facade wrapped around the shadows of dozens of people.

Professionally this can actually be a strength, it gives me the ability to quickly adapt and be able to walk into lots of different situations and provide some value.  This is also true in life outside of work, because of my large and diverse skill set I can often fit in easy etc.  The problem in both of these cases though is longevity.  Since I don’t have any real depth (behind the illusion that seems to form itself around me I am quite shadow) things start to fall apart after a while.

I guess this explains a large part of my personality, and perpetuates it upon myself.  To avoid getting caught out I constantly move to the next thing, trying not to tie myself down, always searching for something new and fun.

At the end of the day I guess it comes down to me.  Is this who I want to be? Do I want to continually try to keep up the facade (as it can be quite tiring)? Could I change it (would I want to)? And really, when it call comes down to it; Who am I? And who do I want to be?

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